I Have Failed at Picturing a Panda

I had determined that I would go to the zoo this week. I had a desire to see a panda, and I'm in China of all places. Guangzhou has a new zoo, and an old zoo. I asked the concierge which zoo had pandas, and he said both. The concierge suggested the new zoo, saying it's better, although it's in the middle of nowhere. This place was pretty awesome (with one exception, which will be detailed later). It was kind of like an African safari, with lots of open spaces, and pretty exotic animals.
This bird freaked me out. Not because it spoke, but because it spoke English. They had about 8 of these, all saying "Hello," "Hi," or "Goodbye." I didn't hear any of them say "Ni hao."
They had LOTS of birds at this place. They even had a section you could walk in, and the birds were all allowed to fly around. That part was huge, and had heavy chain curtains for doors.

Here was the African safari section. I don't know if I've ever seen giraffes before, but they were cool.
After the first section, they had another area dedicated to the animals of Australia. Koalas? Kangaroos? Emus? All accounted for. Maybe Derek can help identify these things.
This is your koala on drugs. Or eucalyptus.
After Australia, it's back to Africa! Some elephants, hippopotami, and rhinoceroui. Maybe it should be elephanti to match.
They also had a large number of tigers, and a white tiger show. The baby tigers were really cute, especially the ones in the incubator. The tiger show, I'm not sure what I think of. Similar to the shows on Monkey Island, the tigers don't seem very happy. One was constantly lashing out at the guy running the show.
After all that excitement, the best was yet to come. The monkeys!! Okay, so all you're gonna see is pretty much orangutang. My battery was getting critically low at this point. How, I don't know, but it sucked.
What happened next, well, the little monkey on the other island should NOT have been watching. My coworker Sarah and I were laughing so hard, I think the locals thought we were crazy. The pictures don't really convey the hilarity of the moment. How often do you see orangutangs getting it on?

What could top that? Of course, the panda. The last thing to see in the park. My battery is basically dead, but I think I can get one more picture off. As we approach, we don't see anything appropriate for a giant panda. What's this? Why do they have a sign saying Lesser Panda? What is lesser about this panda than other pandas?
THAT IS NOT A PANDA!! That's a fucking raccoon!! A RACCOON!! Those lying bastards!! I don't know if I can properly project my anger. I mean, it's technically a panda, I guess. But when a stupid American asks you if the zoo has a panda, he doesn't mean the panda that looks like a raccoon or maybe a lemur. He means the kind of panda that made China famous! Black and white! And what really ticked me off, is that they have plush "real" pandas all over the place, luring you into thinking they have the genuine item. Just like China, to be pushing a fake panda on the tourists. It's like I'm walking down the street, and the guy says, "Hey man, wanna buy a panda? Just 200 RMB." You know it's too good to be true.

Anyways, after that debacle, just 5 days until I head home, and not a day too soon. Gonna spend the next few days in Hong Kong, attending meetings before flying out Wednesday. See you in a few days!