Chinglish, the beginning

Surprisingly, there's not a whole lot of Chinglish here so far. Usually the English on signs is pretty good (if sparse), and nothing yet has been side aching funny. This was the first piece I thought was humourous. I don't know why, but "don't clamour" and "don't lies" was funny to me. Obviously as I get more into the culture, I'll probably find funnier sayings.

There are things here that someone older than me would probably find familiar.
What's that? A normal can of 7up? Well, look closely. The top is a pop off! When was the last time you saw one of those? 1985? One of the benefits of my job, is we see facilities like this. So my coworkers say that bottling and canning companies here just buy used machines from the US and Europe, where they can't sell cans like this. The other flashback was a recently purchased airplane ticket. The secretary at work asked if I'd be in my room at 5pm. Why? To receive the paper ticket. A what? I've never seen a paper ticket! No e-tickets here. I don't think you can even get a paper ticket in the states anymore. And it even has carbon paper in it!